Journal: Crafts, Tacos and Hammocks

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*Photo Caption: Close up of my breakfast. Taco meat, avocado, red onion and home made tortilla chips fried in beef fat

The last few days have been a bit rough. Since the drama more or less I’ve been either hard to motivate or making little mistakes.

Today I made a trip to town for a package that hadn’t actually arrived yet. I wasn’t able to get some of the things I wanted either which frustrated me. Combine that with residual anger over that recent encounter with some montly hormones and yeah, today was tough.

I got home and went straight to the hammock. It instantly melted away some pain and put me into a zen like state. I had a hunch about the sensory experience of hammocks and today I confirmed it. Recently I had my hammock elsewhere outside and it wasn’t as open as it is inside. The distance between the two ends makes a huge difference.

Also hammocks are best in mosquito free environments. There’s nothing worse than feeling zen to then feel a mosquito bite. Literally nothing.

Within a few minutes I felt okay and went to make myself some tacos.
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*Photo Caption: The dress I made, still needing some changes to fit right

After smoking I decided to try and edit one of my clothing creations. I got the bright idea to try making a bunch of clothes because fabric went on clearance thanks to covid. Anyone who has tried to sew clothes that fit knows its HARD. So that’s basically what I’ve been battling with.

The idea is to replace the store bought stuff that doesn’t suit me or isn’t comfortable. I’m growing increasingly sensitive to things like elastic and rough textured fabrics. I always was to an extent but I told myself that I shouldn’t feel that way and tried to ignore it.

But I can’t ignore the fact that an elastic wasteband makes it feel like the blood from the top half is cut off from the bottom half. It squeezes, like its being tightened even though its just an innocent elastic waistband. I thought I was safe because they are one size fits all and even fat women wear them.

I stopped wearing a bra years ago for the fact that bras cause back pain for me. To this day I can’t even wear anything bra shaped that’s tight around that area without having issues breating. Recently I wore a long, beautiful dress with an elastic waistband for my boyfriends birthday, and I had to take it off within 2 hours of putting it on because it literally hurt to wear.
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*Photo Caption: Taken during my hammock refuge

It was both heavy and tight in the wrong area. Felt like someone tightened a leather belt around my ribs too tight. And I’ve always had these sensitivities. Certain fabrics or types of clothes I just wouldn’t wear because texture or it felt weird in some regard. Jeans have always been too tight.

Shoes are too much unless they’re vibrams.

So I have bought a bunch of pretty nice textured fabric and I’ve been trying to make some fairy themed clothing. So far: a skirt, dress, gray jacket, robe, and pants. Only the robe turned out as expected and honestly it could still be looser around the shoulders. The white robe has some UGLY stitching because I clearly am new to this clothes making thing.

My sewing experience is rooted in quilting. In high school I made quilts for money after learning how to make them in a class. I revived that recently and had a friend help finance a sewing machine for me to get started again. But most of my would be customers are in the United States and shipping prices are HEINOUS.
So making stuff it is because I don’t like to let my things just sit. I’ve also made a pillowcase that is out of the same fabric as my robe which is tactile HEAVEN when falling to sleep. Super soft fleece nearly the same texture as my fuzzy blankets.
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*Photo Caption: Close up while working on fixing the tight spot in the skirt

For the clothes there’s always something not quite right. In the skirt I was working on today the waist was randomly tight in only one spot. That’s its only flaw. Then the gray jacket thing just fits weird. The dress has some final detail work to the back it needs. And don’t even get me started on the pants.

I have a big pile of fabric and I’m slightly discouraged so I’ve taken a break from these things. The way my mind works is sometimes it gets saturated with a topic and can’t see a solution. It takes time away to be able to come up with new ideas.

Thankfully with sewing I just leave the projects in a pile until I pull my head out of my ass.
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*Photo Caption: This is the view from my bed of the canopy, built out of bamboo and super cheap fabric and yarn.

But I have made some pretty cool things. Like this bed canopy. Also have made a lot of dreamcatchers since the start of quarantine and plan to write an ebook on how to make them.

So today might not have been productive as I wanted. I still can’t say it was a bad day. But I grow tired which means it is time to finish this post. Good night to all!

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