Closure has not come easy. It's literally been a battle, mostly because the situation is still developing. It hasn't closed.
But finally I've gotten a bit of closure and I get a little more bit by bit. I've left Acapulco for now (though I could never leave forever) and when I did so, I made sure to leave little bits of John's ashes everywhere I went. I left on good terms, looking forward to the day when I can return for a visit.
The idea of leaving was extremely hard and I actually isolated myself in my Acapulco apartment for 6 weeks, stubbornly refusing to leave the paradise I have called home for over three years. Acapulco saved me in many ways and we built a life here, the idea of leaving all that behind was hard.
But what got me to do it is I'm tired of being sad, ready to start living life again and making new memories.
If there's one think I know, it would be that John would be extremely pissed to hear about me limiting myself because I was sad to leave Acapulco.
My time in Acapulco just before moving was bittersweet.
I was filled with love for the city as well as sadness because of what's happened. No one in Acapulco treated me badly after the murder, but it did get a bit tiring crying in public with the locals after awhile.
Before I left, I went to some of John's favorite spots and left some ashes. I got a lot of strange looks as the funny looking white lady with a jar of ashes but it needed to be done.
I was given most of John's ashes which is both a blessing and a burden. I know he'd prefer to be with me here in Mexico but it's also a big responsibility to carry that around. I'll do my best to leave little bits of him in all the interesting places I go from now on.
In the middle to the left a bit you can see white flecks that clearly stand out among the sand grains, those are what I assume are bits of bone that you can see in the ashes. This was the last place I left ashes, in Pie de la Cuesta. The pieces stood out more in real life, of course, but you get the point.
So, I'll get my closure eventually, little by little.
Stay tuned for the rest of my photos from leaving Acapulco. I'll also soon be sharing some of my adventures I have stockpiled from the last three months.